sky high poetry

here i go
mindlessly scrolling, carelessly judging,
analyzing, criticizing some guy
based on five photos and three prompts.
because that's all you need to get to know a person, right?
i long to be known, to be held, to feel loved
but instead i'm alone, unknown
silly little lover girl, hopeless romantic
you should give up, you've no luck -
every time i try, every "maybe this time"
never works, only hurts
what are you saying, universe?
i've been waiting my turn
but you've been baiting me, relentlessly
watching me break
make mistakes
fall on my face
are you kidding me?
another failed talking stage
if we even talked at all
never even leaves the chat these days
if it does, then we fall
off, not in love,
the way that i crave
lover girl, lover girl, admit you're afraid
that you'll never find anyone, that single you'll stay
'til the day that you die, lonely and grey
my friends tell me otherwise -
easy for them to say.
they've all found their someone.
yes, there is love in the birds and the trees 
but that's not the love that i actually need
falling hard, falling fast
hit the ground and i bleed 
out all my hopes, my patience, my dreams
there's no other options, it seems.
so, here i go again
swiping, analyzing, criticizing
slowly dying inside.
fuck it
maybe it'll work this time.