sky high poetry

october used to scare me
remind me of darker times coming
forgetting the glow of summer sun and the salty taste ocean air leaves on my tongue
but this year is different.
i don't feel the nights get cold, watch the days get shorter
i feel the leaves crunch beneath my feet
watch the trees slowly shed in shades of red, orange, gold
and the chill in the air is a welcome relief to months of scorching heat.

october brings november
bleeds into december
it's what i used to fear the most, the loneliness of winter
dark, grey, lifeless
depressed, feeling hopeless
this time, though, i'm ready.

i've replaced gloomy mornings in bed with sun streaming through glass and warm cups of coffee
the emptiness in my chest with belly laughter, with golden light
and though winter dulls the colors of fall
she coats us in fresh snow
and makes space for the bright greens of spring.

everything that dies will be born again
bad days will turn to okay days to good days and
winter no longer feels like a death sentence.
she is a reminder that dark, hopeless nights are inevitable
but never permanent.

so as the leaves fall and the trees die
i breathe in
breathe deep
breathe out,
sigh with relief.
because for the first time
i am not scared of october.